It’s difficult to make new friends as an adult.
I meet amazing people everyday who have done incredible things as part of my job as a reporter for CollingwoodToday. But ethics rules mean I have to be careful about building friendships with people I meet in the pursuit of stories, although meeting friends at work is the main way many people make friends. I have met a few wonderful people in the 10 years I’ve spent working in news in Collingwood, but only a small handful of which I consider to be friends outside of work.
Also, my interests include being a politics nerd and watching old horror movies so finding common interests with people my own age is a challenge.
So when I heard that the Collingwood Public Library was hosting a new event called CRiNGE, I was intrigued. Marketed as speed-dating for friends in their 20s and 30s, it sounded terrifying as I consider myself more of an introvert.
I thought, even if it’s terrible, I could at least get some content from it. But it wasn’t terrible. It was actually really fun.
I nervously walked into Black Bellows on Sept. 26, unsure of what I would find.
According to the most recent StatsCan data, the average age of a Collingwood resident is 48 years old. I was the first one to show up. I worried I might be the only one.
I was greeted by Lori Crossan, the library’s co-ordinator of adult and senior programs, with whom I shared my nervousness. She told me that over the past few weeks she had watched multiple people register, then unregister, and then register again for the event.
It appeared I wasn’t the only one who was nervous.
Slowly, people trickled in – about 16 in total.
We all sat down at the tables, that were adorned with conversation-starter cards. A server from Black Bellows asked if anyone wanted a drink.
A girl named Amy (all names have been changed), who came with a friend she had just met on Bumble BFF (a social media app that connects people with friends), said she and her friend were going to need two tequila shots before starting. The server brought them over and they downed them quickly before the first timer started.
I laughed, and immediately thought that these girls seemed cool, and maybe this wouldn’t be cringey after all.
We were given name cards and one minute and thirty seconds to start a conversation with the person across from us. When the timer went off, we all moved one seat to the right, with one person at the beginning staying put to make sure you were talking to a new person each time.
And honestly? The hour flew by.
Amy is a live-in nanny for a family in Collingwood and moved here after moving to Canada from England. Her friend, Rachel, was mostly quiet, but when we picked up a conversation card that asked, ‘If you could do any job outside the one you already have, what would it be?’ she told me without hesitation that she’d love to be a professional wrestler in the WWE.
I met two people who came together because they all know each other through their jobs at a Collingwood pharmacy. Amber, when asked the same question, said she’d love to be a singer, but is too introverted to try it out in public. Perhaps some new friends cheering her on at an open mic night could help.
Nick said he’d also like to be a performer, either in theatre or otherwise.
I met Lacy, who works as a project manager. As an introvert, sometimes when I’m in social situations where I’m a little uncomfortable, I move into reporter mode and just start interviewing the person I’m speaking with. Lacy did the same to me, and at the time I thought it might be something we have in common.
Heather runs a health and wellness publishing company with her mom, and we bonded over our shared love of the written word. She said she tends to work with people a little older than she is and finds it hard to meet people her own age. Sound familiar?
One exciting conversation I had was with Alexis, who recently started working a contract position at the library. When talking about movies we like, we discovered we both really enjoy horror, and we had both recently seen the movie Abigail. We talked about Mike Flanagan.
There were many people I wanted to keep chatting with after the buzzer went off. I think a few decided to continue the party at Low Down after it was over.
“This is so my jam. I love stuff like this. It brings me joy seeing people connect,” Crossan told me after the event. She said she was inspired to try the event out as most library programming is geared toward retirees or kids, and there was a gap for things to do for the 20-to-40 age bracket.
She intends to do more programming in the future for the same age bracket and could include activities such as a paint night, book club, or trivia night but the idea for Thursday’s event came from needing to find a way for people to first meet.
“When I was saying it was time to switch, many people didn’t want to move! This was a first for us and it was so fun hosting,” she said.
There can be some differences even within the double decade of age ranges. As an elder millennial, I wrote my cell phone number on my name tag at the end if people wanted to connect. A smarter table instead wrote their Instagram handles, which is a much more low-stakes way to connect without the pressure of calling someone directly.
Although I had initial worries, the event wasn’t cringey at all and I’m so happy I attended. In fact, I may have made 16 new friends.
Jessica Owen is a reporter with CollingwoodToday. If you attended the event and want to connect, her Instagram handle is @jessica__owen, with two underscores.
